All you want to do is enjoy a nice and peaceful time with your family but it’s impossible with a narcissist. Everything you do is either wrong or not good enough. Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year, where you’re forced to be around the people who have been killing your holy spirit all year.
As hard as it can be to be around your partner, mother, and relatives who bring nothing but chaos, don’t run or hide. Below are the top 3 ways to survive the holidays with people who believe they’re above God and Jesus.
Way 1: Avoid the Circus
There is going to be no peace on earth with a narcissist in the same room but you must resist fighting back. DO NOT give in to what the narcissist is trying to do and that is to drive attention and make you look crazy all at once. If you fight back, you’ll lose. What you should do is listen politely and then excuse yourself. If the narcissist is criticizing something you’re doing, deflect and change the subject. The minute the narcissist is talking about you, start talking about something else. I highly recommend talking about how delicious the desserts are. Whatever you do, don’t let the narcissist fool you into crazy mode. The minute you get angry and fight back, that’s when the narcissist will highlight you to everyone and tell them, “See that? How crazy she or he is?” Never fight back. Keep calm, enjoy the food, listen to the BS with a big smile, and just go home early. Narcissists hate happy people.
Way 2: Kill the negativities
The holidays are about spending time with loved ones and getting all the fuzzies from doing so. Sadly, a narcissist loves to gossip and put people down behind their backs. The narcissist loves making him or herself bigger and better than everyone else. Don’t get angry. Instead, a good comeback when the narcissist starts insulting you or something you did, give him or her a compliment. Never go down to his or her level and let the speck of dust in the universe play with your emotions. Keep positive and the narcissist will have no choice but to back down. Of course, the narcissist will be in a bad mood but you’re not. Being ignored is almost death to a narcissist. If you don’t react to the drama, the narcissist will have no way of controlling your emotion and ruining the holidays.
Way 3: Know the pattern
Don’t expect the narcissist to behave. You already know the narcissist is going to make him or herself the center of the universe. Study the pattern so you can emotionally prepare yourself for whatever madness you will get hit with. One thing narcissists love doing is sharing sob stories and spinning stories to hurt you or to play the victim. The narcissist also loves using these stories as a weapon to manipulate others. You already know everything coming out of his or her mouth is not true and it’s going to be a projection of his or her own behavior onto others. The holidays are a great time for the narcissist to preach about being mistreated and trying to make you the bad person. Don’t fall for it. Narcissists hate competition and sharing the holiday with others is taking your attention off of them. Your narcissist will do anything to make sure you’re always focusing on him or her. Learn the pattern. Don’t play the control game and just enjoy yourself. If things get hard, go back to Way 1 and Way 2.
In the end, the only true way to never deal with the narcissistic in your life again is to simply limit your time around him or her, walk away or go completely no contact. There’s no such thing as sanity, happiness, and love when you share your life with a narcissist.