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Crazy Love

Candace M.

We all look for a perfect mate, maybe not perfect but compatible at least. 

I met mine at work, he was my manager and we both worked very hard for the same things in life. Time went on and we developed a relationship that went very well in all aspects until the day we moved in together. I was a single mother raising two young girls, he was divorced with no custody of his two girls but paying support. The day I moved in with my girls was the day he turned very ugly, but I passed it off as being tired and grumpy from the move and all the excitement. There were some good days ahead, but the bad days were quickly adding to that and out poured the demanding, bossing, paranoia, controlling and possessiveness. 

This man decided to go live in the basement away from us in a form of punishment for always getting on his nerves. He would shut the entire hydro off in the house for days except for the basement where he stayed watching porn, porn, and more porn. I tried to stay in control as all the fights were ridiculous ones that he would make up out of nowhere. My concerns were getting so high, I started worrying about my daughter’s safety and my own. I started worrying about my job and what he could do to get me fired. I started planning to leave by packing our belongings and putting an end to the mayhem he created in our once happy lives. 

It all turned to stir crazy within 5 months, that’s all it took for me to leave by ambulance alongside my youngest daughter. When a man wants full control, he will do anything in his power to prevent you from packing up and leaving. “If I can’t have you no one else is going to have you” as he ran towards me with a 10-inch hunting blade ready to take mine and my daughters’ lives.  For weeks before that we slept with knives or any kind of weapon under our beds, this man roamed around in the middle of the night staring at us while we slept, sneaking into the bedrooms snooping for anything to set his rage on fire I feared him and so did my girls, we were doomed if I didn’t get us out!!!! 

The night I decided to put it all on the table also was the night he was very well prepared for. He sat there and heard me out, heard my reasons for leaving and never returning. He was beet red in the face, his eyes turned pitch black, and the spit was going everywhere as he yelled crazy profanity. He had knocked me so hard off my chair so fast I think I instantly went into shock. Being so stunned he had the advantage and threw me around like a rag doll, when I managed to get up, I ran upstairs to my daughter, and he was in hot pursuit. 

My oldest daughter was volunteering that night at the YWCA and my youngest daughter stayed home with me watching tv. She was scared and petrified … so was I!!!! He chased me, he caught me and immediately stabbed me in the back with his hunting knife, he made my daughter watch as he was going to take my life than hers than my oldest when she came home.  My daughter and I were in so much panic and terror, she grabbed a knife that was hidden and started to stab him while he was pinning me to the ground continuing to stab both me and my 12-year-old daughter now. She managed to stab him until he could not move, and he fell to the floor. He was furious and he was raging but he couldn’t move he was in serious pain. I immediately called 911 and all three of us were taken to the hospital, all three of us stabbed and wounded. It was the most horrific experience of my lifetime, my daughter saved me, if she was not there to think quickly, I and both my girls would all be dead. 

The police waited for my oldest daughter to come home and brought her to the hospital, it was a sad day and overwhelming to the max.  My manager served 6 years in prison for attempted murder and third-degree assaults, was put into the database as a sexual predator, and I have never seen him again. I moved to a completely different province with both girls under my wings and we never once looked back. 

This type of trauma hits you hard for the rest of your life. It’s been many years since then but never ever leaves the mind. You are simply damaged and broken. It’s been a long healing journey and we have healed (thank god) but you also become very aware of the possibilities when dealing with narcissists, psychopaths, bipolar, and many hidden disorders of all sorts.  The red flags are there, don’t overlook them because of the kindness in your heart. This is my story of living with a psycho-narcissist. 

Thank you.

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