About Us

They said pain changes you. This is true for us — four strangers who found each other on the path to salvation. With our heart and soul, we created this community for you. Join our journey.

Someone must plant a seed...

Detaching from an abusive relationship is the loneliest, most painful, scariest, and frustrating time in the life of a survivor. After spending months to years isolated from the world, constantly living in survival mode, and always walking on eggshells, therapy alone is not enough to help a survivor to live normal again. The only way is to connect a survivor with other survivors.

Without healing and growing, a survivor will either return to her abuser and continue the cycle of abuse or become extremely depressed and turn to suicide. It’s hard to understand the chaos of narcissistic abuse without experiencing it. Families and friends can listen but they will never be able to fully comprehend why a survivor can’t just “get over it” or “move on.” 

The only people who will be able to deeply connect and understand the internal struggles and pain of a survivor are those people who had gone through the same experience, and only those people can push the survivor to move forward to heal and grow.

On March 13, 2018, De’Chaos was established as a support group for women survivors of narcissistic abuse. After 15yrs in an abusive relationship, Calikay Vashou decided it was time to give people who are struggling with psychological abuse a voice. She wanted to build a place where survivors can build friendships, be around people who understand them, and get the supportive resources they need. 

In nearly 3 years, De’Chaos grew into a community with members from all around the country. Today, De’Chaos is run by Calikay Vashou and her unicorn sisters: Deann Fullmer, Coral Cortes, and Jill Wautlet. They are all survivors of narcissistic abuse. Each week, they host online meetings to give survivors a safe outlet to heal, grow, and thrive. The next milestone is for De’Chaos to expand and offer more support for survivors and children of survivors nationwide. We believe everyone deserves to live a life free from abuse. 

Our Mission

“To end the cycle of narcissistic abuse by empowering survivors to thrive and bring awareness to our communities.”


We believe in providing support with passion, love, and care.


We believe in helping survivors to live a happy fulfilling lives.


We believe in unity and connection regardless of one's background.


We believe everyone deserves equal rights and should be treated fairly.

Support us in changing the lives of narcissistic abuse survivors.